


A Baby for Christmas

by captainamergirl



Series: Christmases When You Were Mine [7]
Category: General Hospital
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: If only Jason could remember her, they'd have everything.





	A Baby for Christmas

**A Baby for Christmas**  
  
“You’re sure?” Sam asked. Tears glistened in her eyes as her hands found her flat abdomen almost by their own volition. “It’s really… I’m –" How did she suddenly not have the words to speak? Jason used to say she never could be quiet, but right now, she was damned near speechless.  
  
“Yes, Sam, I am sure,” Doctor Meadows said. “The tests don’t lie. You’re about six weeks along.”  
  
“Oh…” She knew exactly when she’d gotten pregnant. The time Jason had taken her to Hawaii and made love to her slowly and carefully, wanting to leave her with something to remember him by. Well, he certainly had and all she wanted to do was run out of this little room and dash to him and throw herself in his arms and shout the exciting news from the rooftops.  
  
But she couldn’t – because not only was Jason on death’s door; but he didn’t remember her. A tear rolled down her cheek. He didn’t remember her. He didn’t even _want_ to know her. She had tried not to push him, knowing how precarious his health was, but she just wanted him to look at her the way he used to. She wanted to be able to share this news with him, and hear him say that this was exactly what he had wanted for Christmas.  
  
“Sam, are you going to be alright?” Dr. Meadows asked. “Can I call someone to be with you?”  
  
“No, no I’ll be fine,” Sam lied. “It’s just shocking news.”  
  
“I am sure Jason will be very happy,” Dr. Meadows offered.  
  
Sam snickered mirthlessly. “Oh I’m sure! He’s on death’s door, being poked and prodded which he hates more than anything, and now he has to be baby daddy to a woman he doesn’t even remember or seem to like.” More tears fell. “I guess … I’ll figure something out.”  
  
Dr. Meadows squeezed her shoulder in a rare offering of comfort. “You’ll know the right thing to do. All that is important is that you’re having the baby you wanted for so long and everything, from what I can see, is in working order.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes, you have every reason to be optimistic.”  
  
“Th-thanks,” Sam murmured.  
  
“You’re welcome. I will write some prescriptions and then you can go.”  
  
“Alright…” Go where though? She wondered. All she wanted to do was go upstairs and hold Jason so tight as she told him the news that would change their lives, but she didn’t think she could… _Could she?_  
  
XoXoXo  
  
Sam found herself on the tenth floor, almost without realizing where she was going. It was like her feet had a mind of their own and carried her into the elevator and then down the hall to Jason’s room. But they wouldn’t carry her any further. She would have to take the last step if she wanted in there.  
  
She started to open the door and then thought better of it. Could she really burden him with this news when he was fighting for his life – for his very memories?  
  
No, the answer was no, she realized sadly as another tear escaped her eye. She shouldn’t have come up here even if it was instinctual to want to be right where Jason was. He didn’t want to see her; he didn’t want anything to do with her. He said he was tired of her attempts to take him on a trip down memory lane and wanted her to stay away for awhile. She should honor that even if in her mind, this baby was a gift. His gift to her.  
  
Still, now was not the time. She forced herself to turn around and walk down the hall. She forced herself not to look back. Forced herself not to dream of Jason being insanely happy about this insanely crazy news.  
  
_“Sam?”_ A familiar voice suddenly called her name as she was about to turn the corner.  
  
She halted in her steps. Obviously she was hearing Jason’s voice because she was wishing to hear it. She was wishing for things that could never be…  
  
“Sam,” he said again and this time, she was sure she hadn’t conjured his voice up in her mind. She slowly turned around to see Jason sitting in a wheel chair; a tall, skinny orderly standing behind him, gripping the handles.  
  
Jason must have seen the tears on her face because he asked, “Are you okay?”  
  
Sam wanted to run to him and sag into his lap and cry that she wasn’t alright. That she’d never be alright as long as he was in danger. She could maybe accept that he couldn’t remember her, but she couldn’t accept him ever leaving this world. He made it such a good place; a safe place.  
  
“I’m – uh-“ Another shameful tear ran down her cheek. “I’m … getting by.”  
  
Jason looked at the orderly. “Can you give us a minute, Jamal?” He asked.  
  
The orderly nodded and strode away. Jason beckoned to Sam and as she got closer, she saw the tips of his spiky blonde hair were glistening with water. He must have just been in the shower. How much help had he needed to get through it? God, he must hate this. She needed to be more understanding of how he must feel. It wasn’t her suffering; it was him.  
  
“Merry Christmas,” she offered lamely.  
  
Jason nodded slowly. “Thanks… You too.” He looked at his hands for a moment and then up at her. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Wrong?” Sam asked. “Uh, nothing really. I’m just-“  
  
“You’re crying. And you never visited me today. I know I said --”  
  
“I know … I didn't come because I know you’re getting sick of seeing my face.” Plus, she had been downstairs getting earth-shattering news that she was pregnant with his child. How she longed to tell him…  
  
But she knew that she couldn’t.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Jason finally spoke again. “If I made you feel bad.”  
  
“It’s alright. I wouldn’t want some strange person I didn’t recognize hanging around me, trying to get me to push me to remember things that maybe are best forgotten.”  
  
“Is that what you think? That I would be better off not remembering you?"  
  
“I don’t know, Jason. All I know is that I am not going to force you to try anymore. As long as you are alive, I can accept the distance between us. I just want you to be okay because the whole world would go completely dark if you weren’t in it.”  
  
Sam shifted from foot to foot as he watched her with a pensive expression. She finally dabbed at her cheeks. “Um, I better go. Merry Christmas, again.”  
  
“Wait,” Jason said quietly.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You obviously came up here looking for me. What did you want to say?”  
  
Sam bit her lip. “I think we’ve said it all, right?”  
  
“Do you have someone to spend the holidays with?”  
  
“Um, well…” Sam sighed. “It doesn’t matter..."  
  
Jason stared at her for a long moment and then sighed, splaying his big, strong hands. “Do you want to stay for a bit?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Do you want to-“  
  
“I heard what you said, but why? You haven’t wanted a thing to do with me and now… I don’t get it.”  
  
“I just don’t want you to be alone. Right now, seeing you like this-"  
  
“I don’t need your pity, Jason Morgan!” Sam spat. She lowered her voice but it still sounded shaky to her own ears. “I couldn’t stand it if you pitied me.”  
  
“I don’t. I just had a lot of time to think today and maybe, maybe I’m ready.”  
  
“Ready for what?”  
  
“To hear about our past. All I know is that today when you weren’t here …”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“That … I kind of missed you.”  
  
Her heart hammered. “Honestly?”  
  
He looked down at his hands again and then finally up at her with those brilliant blue eyes of his that made her fall in love with him again instantly, a hundred times over. “Yes. When you never showed, I thought – thought something bad had happened or you just gave up … I wouldn’t have blamed you but-“  
  
Sam smiled through her tears. “That’s the problem, Jason. I don’t think I can ever give up on you. The only reason I wasn’t here today was –“ she touched her stomach for a moment and then darted her hand away –“I was decorating the penthouse. I don’t know why, I just felt like it.” She was only partly lying. She had _planned_ to drag out the decorations then she’d felt super nauseous and rushed off to the hospital, only to find out that she was having his baby.  
  
She wanted to tell him that part so badly but believed she couldn’t – that it should wait; whether she wanted to keep it a secret or not, for this moment, she had to. When he was better, she would spring the news on him. For now, she was just glad he was inviting her into his room, if not his heart.  
  
It was a start; it was quite possibly, _a new beginning…_


End file.
